Okay, there is one thing you need to know about me...I'm a Bravoholic.
It's true! I can't help it, ever since the Real Housewives of New York started years ago, I've been hooked. And now I love every show on there from Real Housewives of Atlanta, New York, Potomac, and of course OC. That love quickly grew into Vanderpump Rules, Southern Charm, and I'm sure there are other shows I'm not thinking of right now.
My all time favorite way to waste my time is to watch Southern Charm. I know, its sooooo vapid but I love it. You can't look away from a train wreck. Look, I'm admitting I have a problem here, try and have a little compassion. Anyways, Southern Charm has just started again for another season (last week) so I thought it would be fun to review each of the episodes with my comments after each airing! I always make so many random comments to myself so why not write them down this time. The show airs on Monday nights but by the time I watch them its usually Tuesday, so I'll have the review posted by Wednesdays. I think this sounds like a realistic time line.
So let's get right to it and catch up on the characters from last season, since we're already two episodes into this season.
Craig: He is still trust fund-less but moves back to Charleston from Delaware to live with his new girlfriend who actually seems normal. They're living in her parent's house (of course) rent/mortgage free until they sell the house. He throws a welcome home party for... himself. Mmmkay. He seems to actually have a cute relationship with this new girlfriend and isn't as smarmy as he was last season. However, he still has yet to take the bar exam and is working with JD for his hospitality company, whatever that is. So I guess he's like a partner, though, since he writes a check for $15,000 but is then working the rest off? I'm confused here.. He makes a short lived effort to ask people why they're freezing out Kathryn but it just gets brushed over.
Shep: He is living off his trust fund and hatin on Craig for being in his 20's and attractive to women, which puts him in direct competition. He still wakes up everyday at 2 p.m.and I guess he still owns that bar? They never mention it so I'm not sure. He finally sort of apologized to Craig for how he treated him last season. He also stops by to see Landon's new house when she is making some paintings to decorate. Can these two just get together please? <3 He has the nerve to call her flighty since she's into art and does her pop up shows around town. Oh, yeah okay, now Landon is flighty? Stop judging your friends, Shep. He muses that she must be allergic to work...he can relate, of course.
Cameron: She's still married to Jason and doing the real estate thing. She also puts in her snarky comments about Craig but to his face congratulates him on getting it together. Her husband (who we never see because he actually doesn't want to be on reality TV) is ready for a baby and even though she has yet to have her clock ticking, she wants to show him she can be a good wifey. So she gathers her reality show friends (no other friends are in attendance) and plays hostess for the night by throwing a dinner party. She pulls out all of her wedding gifts that she's never opened..like a saucepan. Okay, so I get that shes not a domestic goddess, few of us are. But I don't understand how she's never used a saucepan. I mean, even Kraft macaroni gets heated up in a saucepan! The kicker of this whole fake dinner party is the fact that her husband isn't even there! I thought it was for him? Ugh. Let's move on...
Whitney: He has been living at his home in L.A. and comes home for taping of the show, I suppose. I don't know if he stays with "mother" when he's back. He's still friends with T-Rav but things are a little shakey. I get the feeling you can't be FULLY friends with T-Rav for long or you'd lose brain cells. He never mentions his Austrian model/actress/reality show celeb girlfriend but someone asks him about engagement at the fake dinner party and he chokes on his words saying he's "working towards something." Mother would like grand kids soon, yeah, soon is right - isn't Whitney in his 40s?
Kathryn Calhoun Dennis: I'll be referring to her as her full name since its just as obnoxious as she is. She's pregnant again with T-Rav's baby, they already have a daughter. She thinks everyone hates her (no, its just me) and they're taking Thomas's side. She also thinks there's something going on with Thomas and Landon and freaks out about him changing the nursery in his new house from pink to periwinkle and makes a reference to the fact that Landon's dress was periwinkle. Oh giiiirrrrllll...calm down. She hangs around with fake friends like Jennifer Snowden because she nods her head and agrees with everything just to be on a reality show. Did Jennifer's face change or is my HD busted? Anyways, she complains to Jennifer about everyone taking Thomas's side and being cold to her at the party. Also, I guess she struggles with being able to move out of her parents house since Thomas isn't supporting her. In case you don't know, Kathryn Calhoun Dennis is from "old Charleston money" and the parents house (which she referred to as "ghetto" because the a/c unit didn't work) is actually a large old brick plantation home on sprawling fields. She also complains about not being invited to parties which she thinks people just don't know the real her. I think people know the real her and that's why shes not invited.
Thomas Ravenel (T-Rav): Bought a new house and is supposedly not with Kathryn Calhoun Dennis anymore however he still has a baby on the way. We see him with a terrible shiner which he says someone punched him at "the club" the night before. Okay, you're 50 stop..just stop. From Thomas we learn that he actually gives Kathryn Calhoun Dennis $2500 a month for child support out of the goodness of his own heart! There's a boring scene with him having dinner with Whitney and Mother where he speaks French and comes off really drunk or high. He's also not invited to the fake dinner party. *yawn* I'm bored with him.
Landon: She is my favorite! She has had some success with the pop up shops and is no longer living on the boat although I think it suited her. She stops by T-Rav's new place to give some design advice and confesses she doesn't know why Kathryn Calhoun Dennis hates her. She makes a couple hundred references to Shep knowing every girl in town and it makes her uncomfortable when they are her friends since she knows he always gets the girl. Again, can these two just get together? She plays it off as just awkward cause they're friends but it seems like its because she might have feelings for him? Maybe! We shall see.
Okay, so that's my recap for now!
Don't
worry, I didn't miss the fact that Kathryn callously used the word
"ghetto" about a plantation home which made generations and
generations of money so that she doesn't have to work and never see a real ghetto in her life. You see where I'm going with this...
Next week, I'll have more of a play by play on what happens each episode. But since I was already behind, I thought I'd just lump them together this time around.
And if you actually read that whole thing, I love ya for it.
xoxox
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